How to laugh at Arab misfortune in a few easy steps

The organisation Zochrot is a group of Israeli citizens who work to raise awareness of the Nakba, the 1948 Palestinian catastrophe.

They just sent the following email:

On Friday, July 31, 2009, Channel 2’s popular TV program, “Awesome Weekend,” parodied Bibi Netanyahu’s ridiculous efforts to show the world and Israelis the reality of the conflict. The two segments in which Jews meet a Palestinian present the Zionist narrative (on the Nakba and the Apartheid wall) in the most derisory manner. Most of the responses to the video on the program’s web site were, as expected, racist, insulted and angry at the leftists. Below, find the English translation of the video.

1948

Announcer: In 1948, Israel declared independence. The following day, IDF forces entered the Palestinian villages.

Palestinian: Wa, salaam aleikum, my friend, good morning, mazal tov on the state, have a great time.

Jew: Thank you, wise Palestinian. But we still don’t know where we’ll live.

Palestinian: Walla, take our village. Here are the keys. We were thinking of leaving anyway; after all, we’ve got 22 more countries.

Tall soldier: Nice Palestinian, are you sure you don’t want to remain in your home? We can live together; there’s enough room for everyone.

Palestinian: You know what we Palestinians are like. We’ve got an urge to wander.
What’s that we say? Hoo-wha, hoo-wha, a voice calls, to roam, to roam.

Jew: Ok, if that’s the way things are we’ll honor your request and take over your homes. Goodbye, wise Palestinian.

Palestinian: Goodbye, good soldiers.

Tall soldier: Goodbye, nice Palestinian.

Palestinian: Goodbye, my friends.

Tall soldier: Goodbye, Palestinian.

Palestinian: Goodbye.

[The short soldier suddenly starts firing at the Palestinian and the tall soldier also shoots at him]

2002

Palestinian: Ah, salaam aleikum

Short soldier: Boss, boss – ask him what he wants.

Tall soldier: Hello, Palestinian peasant, illiterate but filled with practical wisdom. What is your wish?

Palestinian: Walla, I had an idea all of a sudden. Why don’t you build a high fence here so you won’t have to look at our ugly buildings?

Tall soldier: That’s silly. If there’s a fence you won’t be able to move around freely.

Palestinian: Forget about freedom of movement. You know what we Palestinians are like. We like being crowded. What’s that we say? Hoo-wha, hoo-wha, a voice calls”¦ crowded, crowded. Besides, that way we can play soccer across the fence. That’ll be really neat, really awesome.

[A shot is heard. The Palestinian clutches his stomach and begins moaning]

Short soldier: My gun went off! It was an accident, boss!

Tall soldier: Look what you did! Wait a minute – he’s trying to say something.

Palestinian: It’s good to die for the fence. [Falls to the ground]

[The short soldier shoots the Palestinian again]

Tall soldier: Why?

Short soldier: It’s pronounced fince! [Shoots again] Fince!

Tall soldier: That’s the last time I go on patrol with you.

Text and images ©2024 Antony Loewenstein. All rights reserved.

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